 |
He said there
was someone else – someone better. He said it was crazy and unexpected. Well,
there was certainly no kidding about the unexpected part.
At that moment, my credit card felt the pain nearly as much as I did. The gym
membership, the subscription to The New York Times, and the shopping sprees all
led to this one moment -her.
A year ago, any impressive facts I could massage into conversation were
gold for earning his attention. Reading The New York Times health section every
morning to accumulate material to spark conversation became crucial in my daily
routine. The love handles I had gained from reckless partying freshman year
clashed against his six-pack, so I ran. I ran everyday with I Want Crazy by
Hunter Hayes blasting on repeat for the last half-mile. My rebirth as a cardio
bunny caused me to drop 15 pounds. More scientifically educated and more toned,
I was on my self-created path to success.
But I was deceived. It all culminated to sitting at a table against the front
window of the Country Pancake House. Cradling my mug of black coffee, I
hypnotically watched the Ridgewood traffic whiz by. After awhile, I looked down
again at my phone. Scrolling back through my Facebook newsfeed, the banner was
still there. It featured a photo of him cuddling her on the beach, labeled as In
A Relationship.
Tears
welled up as I grabbed a square of cornbread from the woven basket aside a
delicate dish of fresh butterballs. The sweet bursts of cocoa flavor from the
embedded chocolate chips offset the taste of my coffee and my bitter emotions.
The cornbread’s lofty yet rich body was reminiscent of a treat I’d expect to
emerge from my grandmother’s oven – the treats that I had avoided for months to
please him. I was hit with a sense of familiar comfort.
I perused the menu, with more than 112 pancake options. Making a decision at
the Country Pancake House is a chore, exactly what I needed to distract myself
from the overwhelming thoughts circling my mind. So many options, most of which
included chocolate or fruit compote. Looking around, I saw many families and
couples happily indulging. What did I have to lose? Nothing. I already lost.
The downhome attitude that no one shall leave hungry rang true when I received
my order of sugary apple cinnamon pancakes. With portion sizes that quadrupled
the average breakfast eatery, it was obvious why the motto is “Home of the
Hearty.”
Upon
first bite, the fluffy, buttery body of the pancake slowly divulged the warm
bits of baked apple, making way for the sweet, woody sensation of cinnamon. Not
only did the food provide physical warmth, but it also saturated me with
emotional warmth. For that moment, my ex was on the backburner and it was about
me enjoying that stack of pancakes. With my epiphany, I relinquished my worries
about counting calories or spilling food on my dress. Drowning my pancakes in
syrup, I flagged my waitress for a glass of chocolate milk.
Emily Beckman is a full-time junior student of journalism and media studies at Rutgers University. She is also the co-editor-in-chief and fashion director of TRIM Magazine, Rutgers' student run fashion and lifestyle publication (www.trimmagazine.net). You can contact Miss Beckman at ebeckman316@gmail.com.
